I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
