We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
