Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
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