You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
MY BUTT IS BIG ENOUGH FOR AN ANACONDA AND HE DOESNT GET TO ENJOY IT TOUGH SHIT
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Randomize