Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
