My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
It's hard picking what to wear when you know the plan is sex. Like can't I just wear my robe let's just simplify this.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
