i jhust puked up my retainher.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Randomize
