Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
