what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
only you would photoshop your dick
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
