is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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