yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
