It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
Randomize
