I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize