It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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