Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize
