Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
Randomize
