It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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