oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
Randomize
