Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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