Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
