Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
