Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Randomize
