You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
