Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Can you pick up from work today? There's a surprise for you on the bed and I haven't gone blind which is positive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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