is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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