No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
It's Jesse McGoddamn Cartney, the whole world sings that shit
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
