It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
