if i can run in heels then i can drive
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
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