Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
