are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Mom said you looked used
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
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