It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
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