You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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