there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
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