Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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