...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Randomize
