I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
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