and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
Randomize
