i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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