filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
