I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Why does 10AM Spanish always turn into a discussion about my sex life?
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