Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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