Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Houston, we have a squirter
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
