so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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