**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
