Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
God I need to hump something, right now.
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