I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
