I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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