I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Randomize
