It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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