omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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