I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
