The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize