i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
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