i was rollin on her like bob the builder
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize
