Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Vocabulary what?!? Shakespeare is my bitch.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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