So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
