Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize