Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
