All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Just saw a cop give four blondes gas for their car on their way to Vegas. They seriously ran out of gas and called 911 about it. Its like a porno plot.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Randomize
