wake up i wanna do it froggy style
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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