Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Is it because I queefed?
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
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