I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
