Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
well I can't set my house on fire every night
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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