If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
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